


High Powered

by BeaRyan



Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, F/M, Firestarter - Freeform, Gen, M/M, genital meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 11:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeaRyan/pseuds/BeaRyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has experienced mysterious weapons problems after the night in the Tower. Rachel compiles their stories and uncovers the root of the issue.  Please note, this is crack, not a serious guess at season two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	High Powered

**Author's Note:**

  * For [swietlik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/swietlik/gifts).



The group surveyed each other with wary eyes. The seven of them hadn't all been together since that night in the Tower. Only the bizarre circumstances of their recent encounters had forced this meeting now.

“I was just standing there holding my sword and suddenly two men were on fire,” Miles said.

“Yeah, you've said that several times,” Tom replied. “We're all really happy for you.”

“And the other day I drew my sword to investigate this strange noise coming from the storage shed and suddenly it was on fire! What the hell is going on?” Miles paced the room, swirling the water in the glass in his hand as if it were something more potent.

“What other weapons issues have people had?” Rachel asked. She had a notebook and pencil and scratched out diagrams and charts as if organizing the information would prevent further spontaneous combustion.

Charlie spoke first. “I pointed my crossbow at someone the other day and he stopped what he was doing and stared blankly at me. It was like he went brain dead.”

“I had a similar incident,” Bass said. “I drew my sword on someone and his eyes rolled up in his head, he did a full body shudder, and then collapsed, panting, on the ground. I never even touched him. Just pointing my weapon at him incapacitated him.”

“For me there was no shuddering or collapsing,” Charlie said. “He was like a zombie. I think he’d have done anything I told him to do.” 

Miles cast a glance around the group and noticed Tom and Jason avoiding his eyes. Tom was hunched in a defensive posture. Jason pressed away from the crowd and tried to blend into the wall.

“It was your weapon that brought us together, Tom,” Miles said. “We've heard the story from Charlie. Now let's hear it from you.”

Tom said, “My gun has strange effects on blondes and only blondes. I saw Charlie in the market and thought at last I'd be rid of her. I drew my gun and worked my way through the crowd. I'm not a monster,” he added, casting a glance at Monroe. “I only wanted to solve a problem and I'm selective when applying punishment. At first she didn't notice me, but as I got closer she started panting. Her face was flushed and she was breathing heavily. Jason interrupted us. I don't know which of us he planned to shoot. My idiot son couldn't even get an arrow strung on his bow.”

“Has that been a problem lately?” Rachel asked. “Is your weapon not working properly?”

“I don't know what's wrong,” Jason answered. “I can't even nock an arrow. It's not a matter of the weapon having weird effects like everyone else is seeing. My weapon never even gets in the game.”

Rachel turned her attention to Aaron. “What about you?”

“I don't have a weapon,” Aaron said.

Rachel glanced down at her notes and then giggled as a smile flitted across her face. “Those naughty little nanites,” she said quietly.

“What have the damn things done now?” Miles asked.

Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. Her face wore her neutral scientist's expression, but something more twinkled in her eyes.

“The nanites have transferred the power of your genitals to your weapon. Miles's sword slowly destroys and eventually kills everything he points it at. Bass can quickly unhinge both men and women. Tom's powers are slower and more selectively applied. You can work out the rest of it for yourselves.”

“What about you?” Jason demanded. “What's your new power?”

“It's not new. I already had it. Anything and everything can be a weapon if properly applied.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments welcome.


End file.
